What's love got to do with it - Part deux

I picked up the latest Time magazine today, expecting the usual political fodder laced with a syrupy dose of celebrity news, but instead, found one of the the best articles I have ever read. "Why Marriage Matters," an essay by Caitlin Flanagan, was on point. There was never a moment where I stopped to rest my eyes or skim to a more interesting part of the four page article. From beginning to end, she built her case with solid research, examples and punchy writing that allowed the article to end with a loud and convincing bang.

Among many interesting points, Flanagan says the poor and middle class differ in the way they have forsaken marriage; the poor uncouple parenthood from it and the financially secure blast apart their unions if they lose their flavor.

Here are some of my favorite quotes:

1. No single force is causing as much measurable hardship in this country as the collapse of marriage.

2. [Marriage is] An increasingly fragile construct depending less and less on notions of sacrifice and obligation than on the ephemera of romance and happiness as defined by and for its adult principals, the intact, two-parent family remains our cultural ideal, but it exists under constant assault.

3. Barack Obama - "We need fathers to step up, to realize that their job does not end at conception; that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child but the courage to raise one." <--- Love that quote

4. Meanwhile, the middle class has spent 2 1/2 decades-during which the divorce culture became a fact of life-turning weddings into overwrought exercises in consumer spending, as if by just plunking down enough cash for the flower girls' dresses and tissue-lined envelopes for the RSVP cards, we can somehow improve our chance of going the distance.

5. America's obsession with high-profile marriage flameouts-the Gosselins and Sanfords and Edwardses-reflects a collective ambivalence toward the institution: our wish that we could land ourselves in a lasting union, mixed with our feelings of vindication, or even relief, when a standard bearer for the "traditional family" fails to pull it off. . . It is time instead to come to terms with both our unrealistic expectations for a happy marriage and our equally unrealistic beliefs about the consequences of walking away from the families we build.

Stellar article. If you have the chance to read it in its entirety, please do [June 13 issue]. I am at the age where most of my friends and acquaintances are embarking on the journey of marriage. It seems like almost every month at least another person is engaged.I sometimes wonder how many of them will still be married in 10 years, 20, 30. One day I hope I too will find someone to share my life with, but I am content to wait. Marriage really is a serious commitment, one that cannot and should not be taken lightly. Like Flanagan says, marriage in America has lost its importance; it's become merely an excuse to splurge on lavish weddings and expensive honeymoons. What Flanagan fails to mention is the secret ingredient to making a marriage last: God.