determined to deal

If life is a game of cards, then I'm determined to deal. Some days we get a great hand, and we think life's quite grand, but all too soon we stumble, and we're left feeling humble. Today was one of those days.

I'm not a big fan of change. Once I get accustomed to a situation, I don't like having to start over somewhere else. I liked my room. I enjoyed the cool breeze that blew in through the windows in the evening. I liked the colors on the wall; my books were neatly stowed on my shelves, my clothes folded in smart stacks. I even had Internet, when it was on, at my fingertips. Today everything came crashing down around me like a house of cards in a hurricane [I think this line is from a movie or song so I totally can't take credit], and I had to deal. Two of the other volunteers went back to Germany, which meant Amanda and I were to assume their duties. For me that meant I had to take care of the boys, supervise chores, clean/supervise the pool, in addition to teaching. Oh yeah, and move from my old room to a dark, hot and loud room connected to the boys'. I knew I couldn't put it off anymore, so after I finished teaching, I lugged all of my things to my new room. It was a struggle, an internal struggle. I wanted to protest, to whine, to yell, to feel sorry for myself. I admit it probably sounds ridiculous, but it was a rough day. Each day presents similar challenges as well. Some of the kids are a handful. They test my patience on a regular basis. I have to bite my tongue, or on other occasions, use it frequently to make sure things get done. I don't like telling people what to do, but that's one of my responsibilities now.

When suppertime comes, I breathe a sigh of relief. That means the day is almost at an end. After cleanup and devotions, it's time to put the boys to bed. I made a chart today with their names on it and have promised them that if they behave well, shower and do their chores, they will get a star. If they earn enough stars, they will get a prize. They all seemed pretty motivated. It's amazing what an incentive will do. So despite the fact that I had to move, that my room is hot and has no windows, that Manuel brushed my hair with a dirty comb that probably had lice on it, that I got scolded for reading the kids a bedtime story, that Marta called me a bad name in Spanish and constantly disrespects me. . . despite those things, I will deal. But, I don't want to just deal, I want to learn to play my hand well. . . or as the Bible puts it, "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest." [Ecclesiastes 9:10]. So, I'll deal, play my hand well [do everything I can, however small, to help], and I won't settle for a loss. Let me define what I mean by that. I don't mean everything will always go my way, or that I'll do everything right, get rewarded all the time, or feel like a winner. . . I'm talking about a long term win :)