Persevering to be endearing

Being a missionary is easy, easily the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I mentally prepared myself as best as I could before I came to Honduras. I thought of as many difficult scenarios and situations as I could and imagined how I would magically solve them. I pictured what my room would look like and how I would introduce myself to my classes on my first day of teaching. Unfortunately the imagination falls short of reality or maybe it's the other way around. . .

Hours after arriving in Honduras, I had already helped move a family from their small, dirty dwelling. Their possessions fit into a few boxes and their furniture on the roof of Nelson’s car. Talk about contrast. The days and weeks that followed were filled with adjustments. I learned to check my bread for ants and to smell my beans in the morning before thrusting a hearty spoonful into my mouth. Gringa became my new middle name or first name on some occasions. I discovered that a minor in Spanish and hours of study and writing papers did not mean I could freely converse with anyone I wanted. As words fail me and my heart longs for home, I am learning to let God speak for me and to fill the emptiness with His peace and love. Oh how hard that is at times. The past two weeks I have struggled with my frustration. I have struggled with my temper. I have struggled with gossiping. I have struggled with my purpose.

Last Sabbath I volunteered to prepare the lesson. Of course I elected to wait until Sabbath morning to do it. On my way out the door I grabbed my Bible and Max Lucado’s "Everyday Deserves a Chance", an encouraging devotional-like book my friend Michelle indefinitely loaned me. As song service began, I frantically flipped through the book looking for some life-changing idea to share. I decided it wouldn’t hurt to ask for God’s guidance and He definitely delivered. In the next 15 minutes, I discovered a Bible verse that gave me my topic in the chapter Calling for Purposeless Days. Other verses followed as I was impressed to look up the word perseverance in the back of my Bible. Here is what I came up with:

TOPIC
Purpose + Perseverance

1.1 Corinthians 3:5-10 “. . . the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, God’s building. By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.”

--> This year I am realizing that I cannot compare workloads or talents. Working with the kids is not a popularity contest. God has sent each of the volunteers here for a purpose. He is going to use each one of us in different ways. Some of us may be building on the work of another volunteer. Some of us may be clearing the ground for a future volunteer. Some of us may never see the fruits of our labor. The important thing to remember is that we all have our own, specific purpose but that ultimately God is the only one who can bless our efforts.

2. Esther – The story of Esther has always been one of my favorites, ever since I was small. In fact, when I was younger I wished my name was Esther. My favorite part of her story is found in Esther 4:12-14. At first, Esther didn’t know God’s purpose for her, but in time He revealed it and because she accepted the challenge, He was able to work through her to save the Jews.

3. James 1:3, 12 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Blessed is the man who perseveres under trail, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”

--> Every time I am tempted to give up when I’m having a bad day at school or the kids are angry with me, I will remind myself of these verses. Not only has God given me a purpose here, but He also promises me that I will be rewarded and that the tests I’m going through now will develop perseverance.

4. Revelation 2:3 “You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary.”

--> I don’t think God means we won’t literally be tired, but more along the lines of we won’t give up.

5. Romans 5:2-5 “And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”

--> I have found so much encouragement in these verses. There are days when I’m so emotionally spent. I am definitely not suffering, but I am struggling. Each struggle presents me with a decision, to press forward, to persevere, or to give up. I knew coming here was going to build my character, but I’m not sure I knew how difficult the process would be. What I love is that it says character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint. To me this verse paints a picture of a dark tunnel, but at the end of the tunnel is a brilliant light.

6. Hebrews 12:1-2, 12 “Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.”

--> I have already posted Hebrews 12:1-2 in a previous blog, but as I was rereading it, I stumbled on verse 12. I think this is one of my new favorite verses. It’s really simple yet powerful. The kids here at the Hogar have been through so much. They have so much pain and heartache; they have been abandoned and discarded; they are heartsick and in need of healing. Some days it’s very difficult to maintain my temper and attitude. However, this verse reminds me that I must be strong in Christ, so that my example will be uplifting and healing rather than harmful.

Max Lucado writes, “While none of us is called to carry the sin of the world (Jesus did that), all of us can carry a burden for the world.”

I have a burden for Honduras, for this Hogar, for these children. I just pray I will be constantly reminded of my purpose and ask for God’s perseverance.