This old man,he played FOUR; He played knick-knack on my door.

I can't believe it's been FOUR weeks since I've been at the Hogar. In a sense, I feel like I've lived here forever, but if this is forever, then I guess I'm pretty old. I feel like I'm caught in a spider web, clinging to delicate threads of sanity, while the world around me spins in unpredictable chaos. I find my sanity in the simple things, like my morning walk to school.

The air is still cool, untainted by the searing heat of mid-day. I clutch my folder tightly, glancing occasionally at the narrow, rocky path beneath me. The path kind of reminds me of the one Ellen White dreamed about. Instead of worrying about falling into an abyss, I watch out for centipedes and snakes. I inhale the strong odor of burning paper from the trash pile on my left, and my ears take in the steady singing of an insect choir. Cars and trucks purr and rumble in the distance, and the sound of children's voices grows louder as I near the school. I am surrounded by green; vegetation's last stand with civilization. I glance at the sky, an intense blue that mocks Crayola's feeble attempts to capture nature in a box. Fluffy clouds dance above the coconut palms and towering green jungle. Here I escape; here I forget that in a few minutes I will be standing before a room of loud children; here I forget that I'm hundreds of miles away from the ones I love dearly; here I forget yesterday's shortcomings; but it is here that I also remember. I remember to cast my cares upon Jesus and acquire peace.

The bell rings and children tumble out of classrooms like water cascading over a precipice. My reverie is broken, but I will retain this quiet peace throughout my day.

determined to deal

If life is a game of cards, then I'm determined to deal. Some days we get a great hand, and we think life's quite grand, but all too soon we stumble, and we're left feeling humble. Today was one of those days.

I'm not a big fan of change. Once I get accustomed to a situation, I don't like having to start over somewhere else. I liked my room. I enjoyed the cool breeze that blew in through the windows in the evening. I liked the colors on the wall; my books were neatly stowed on my shelves, my clothes folded in smart stacks. I even had Internet, when it was on, at my fingertips. Today everything came crashing down around me like a house of cards in a hurricane [I think this line is from a movie or song so I totally can't take credit], and I had to deal. Two of the other volunteers went back to Germany, which meant Amanda and I were to assume their duties. For me that meant I had to take care of the boys, supervise chores, clean/supervise the pool, in addition to teaching. Oh yeah, and move from my old room to a dark, hot and loud room connected to the boys'. I knew I couldn't put it off anymore, so after I finished teaching, I lugged all of my things to my new room. It was a struggle, an internal struggle. I wanted to protest, to whine, to yell, to feel sorry for myself. I admit it probably sounds ridiculous, but it was a rough day. Each day presents similar challenges as well. Some of the kids are a handful. They test my patience on a regular basis. I have to bite my tongue, or on other occasions, use it frequently to make sure things get done. I don't like telling people what to do, but that's one of my responsibilities now.

When suppertime comes, I breathe a sigh of relief. That means the day is almost at an end. After cleanup and devotions, it's time to put the boys to bed. I made a chart today with their names on it and have promised them that if they behave well, shower and do their chores, they will get a star. If they earn enough stars, they will get a prize. They all seemed pretty motivated. It's amazing what an incentive will do. So despite the fact that I had to move, that my room is hot and has no windows, that Manuel brushed my hair with a dirty comb that probably had lice on it, that I got scolded for reading the kids a bedtime story, that Marta called me a bad name in Spanish and constantly disrespects me. . . despite those things, I will deal. But, I don't want to just deal, I want to learn to play my hand well. . . or as the Bible puts it, "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest." [Ecclesiastes 9:10]. So, I'll deal, play my hand well [do everything I can, however small, to help], and I won't settle for a loss. Let me define what I mean by that. I don't mean everything will always go my way, or that I'll do everything right, get rewarded all the time, or feel like a winner. . . I'm talking about a long term win :)

rainforest ramble

Thick vegetation carpets the slippery jungle slope, each green plant laden with droplets of water. The trail steepens and I find myself doubling over, traversing my way through nature's greatest obstacle course. My lungs cry out for more of the cool, fresh mountain air. I am forced to stop and catch my breath a few times but finally I reach the top. I join the others on the roof of an abandoned house and we take in the view.

I love Sabbath here. Today after lunch a group of us drove part way up one of the mountains, where we parked and then hiked the rest of the way. Thankfully it had rained and cooled things off. At times the trail was really steep and slippery, but we had some good laughs on the way up and down. A few of the kids took off their shoes and flip flops for better traction. I am definitely out of shape, but the hike was worth it. When we got to the top the view was amazing. We could see the rain clouds in the distance, and as we hiked back down, it began to pour. It felt amazing though. We all piled into the back of the truck, and lightening flashed in the distance as darkness began to fall. The girls started singing, and soon the boys joined in. At that moment I tried to think if there was somewhere else I would rather be, but I knew in my heart there wasn't. Here I was, thousands of miles from home, yet surrounded by a small family, brought together by pain and heartache, but fortified and strengthened by one Father. Their voices rose, a sweet harmony of happiness drowning out their past sorrows. It was truly beautiful and a moment I will cherish.

Now I am very tired. I'm wearing a sweatshirt, something I never thought would happen while I was in Honduras :)

TGIF

Duña and Rosita, two adorable sisters at the Ihnfa.
Juan Angel and Oscar.
A double rainbow we had last week at the Hogar.

Will try to take more pictures and post soon.

Peanut Butter Bliss

Hanging out with some of the kids at the Ihnfa. L to R: Oscar, Juan Angel and Toño. Toño and Oscar are brothers and two of my favorites.

Cindy and I on our way down the the Escuela for a celebration a week ago. She's one of the girls from the Hogar and in my 3rd grade class.

With Suyapa and Licha, two girls at the Ihnfa.

My little troublemakers. . .


I'm up entirely WAY later than I should be; however, while I miraculously have Internet in my room. . . and mind-bogglingly fast Internet. . . I just wanted to share what a wonderful day I've had. I've had a rough week. I have been sick since Monday, which made me feel pretty crummy. My day had all sorts of little things to make it special, and because lists are another thing I enjoy, I'm going to list them.

#1 I treated myself to a mora smoothie/slushie after finishing at the Ihnfa. Mora is a fruit that's similar to a blackberry and there happens to be a small bakery in St. Barbara that sells the most delicious mora smoothies EVER.

#2 I bought myself two jars of peanut butter. . . of the crunchy variety, which happens to be my favorite. Supper was sparse so I grabbed two rolls of bread, which was fresh out of the oven and did NOT taste of soap or have any ants on it, and headed to my room to slather it with peanut butter. Such a treat.

#3 It rained this afternoon and left things so cool, at least 10 degrees cooler, maybe more. This evening I sat outside and talked with some of the kids in the delicious evening air.

#4 I was able to purchase double the minutes for my phone today for the regular price, a special they do every now and then.

#5 I had so much fun helping to put the boys to bed tonight. I read to Elias, the youngest who is such a cutie and full of energy, from The Cat in the Hat [Spanish]. I used different voices for each character, and he loved it. I call him my little Rana, frog in Spanish, because he's always jumping all over the place and trying to get a piggyback ride.

#5 I haven't had Internet in my room for a few days, so after asking to use the really slow Internet in the library, I came back to my room to find I had Internet here. . . and it was FAST! Faster than it has been since I've been here. So fast I was finally able to upload a few pictures. . . and

#6 I was able to chat with a few friends tonight, which was such an unexpected and pleasant surprise.

#7 Tomorrow is Friday.

#8 My cold is gone. . . as of this afternoon.

#9 I feel like no matter how rough this week was at times, God kept giving me small reminders of how much He cares about me. . . and today was just full of them.

Will write more later. . . but tomorrow I will be very sorry for my late night. . . or maybe that will be my students :)

-Hannah

hope for soap-less food

It's Monday, July 27, 2009 and the start to another week. I'm hungry and sick. Breakfast consisted of a roll with avocado and some watermelon. I can't wait for lunch but first I have to teach two more classes.

Mood: Sick [Cold]
Craving: PEANUT BUTTER!
Liking: Helping the older kids learn guitar and talking with them about soccer/life/school.
Hating: Soapy-tasting bread/food.
Hoping: Not to get lice.
Wishing: More staff were coming.
Thankful for: The cooler weather.

ant farm

It all begins with a stinging sensation, an intense searing burn that quickly turns into an itchy welt. Ant bites. I first experienced these while hanging out laundry and have endured many more attacks since then. These aren't fire ants, in fact, they're small, black and quite harmless looking, until they bite. They're everywhere. If there's a piece of food on the floor, an army will quickly form, legions of ants devouring every crumb. They also happen to like the bread rolls they serve here. Every meal we get a bowl of bread and before eating a piece, it's wise, and actually necessary to brush off the ants. Most of the kids bang the bread on the table to shake them off. I'm not a huge fan of the bread to begin with. It's often hard or stale and tastes kind of soapy. If I do eat it, I usually put beans on it to dull the taste.

I'm very glad today is Friday. Yesterday the kids had a field trip so I didn't have to teach classes. I stayed at the Hogar to care for the younger ones who weren't able to go and watched them swim at the pool. I even put some of the smaller ones on my shoulders and threw them off, which they loved. I am now quite red from these adventures.

Things around Santa Barbara seem quite calm; however, Erika and Christy, two girls who volunteered here awhile ago and visit every year, just returned from Utila. On the way they encountered various police blocks, especially in San Pedro. They also had a very scary experience on the way back when their bus was stopped by police. The men were thrown off the bus at gunpoint, and even though the Honduran women were allowed to stay on the bus, Erika and Christy were thrown off with the men. Erika said they were very frightened, especially because they saw a policeman reload his gun without putting the safety on. Thank God they arrived back here safely and unharmed. It's hard to tell exactly how dangerous the situation is because the Hogar is located in the mountains, and seems relatively sheltered. The reality is that the country is in desperate need for peace.

This reminds me of a quote I like by Sam Adams, "It does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people's minds." Just like it only takes one ant to cause me extreme discomfort, so it only takes a few people to stir up strife and discord in a country. Pray for peace.